When press releases go bad

GSA is out with a tortured press release it coauthored with the Departments of Education (RIP?) and Health and Human Services (best wishes!). The release, penned by the intellectually insecure, is just over 110 words. Here’s a sampling of its hypersyllabic noun modifications: “troubling entitlement mindset,” “our nation’s most prestigious universities and colleges,” and of course “meaningful change.”

First, just write "entitlement," which implies troubling and is worse when acted on rather than restricted to the confines of one's mind. Second, why call the subject of the release "most prestigious" just to immediately denigrate it? I know (and from personal experience), one can feel connected to an imperfect brand, in my case 3M, when the branding builds the emotional connection. That doesn't fully explain the amount of Harvard name-dropping across the political spectrum.

Finally, what change should remain entombed in drugstore greeting-card envelopes? Meaningful change. Full stop.

Within GSA's 110 words, our feds went on to provide a less overwrought, fact-forward version: “The Joint Task Force to combat anti-Semitism is announcing a freeze on $2.2 billion in multi-year grants and $60M in multi-year contract value to Harvard University.”

Good enough.